Peace That Passes Understanding
In May of 2007 my husband of forty years came down with terminal lung cancer. The doctor told him he had six months to a year to live. Oh what a shock this was, how could I live without him? We married young I was seventeen and he was twenty. I went from my parents’ home to my husband’s home. I began to question God, how could you let this happen, he is a Sunday School teacher and a Deacon, please don’t take him Lord. At first I was to emotional to think straight. I cried all the time. I kept begging God to heal him, and really thought He would. I kept claiming and praying all the healing scriptures.
As my husband started going downhill my emotions were more than I could bear. I still kept praying for healing and for him not to have to suffer.
I went with him to all his doctor’s appointments and chemotherapy. I still believed the Lord was going to heal him, however, as time went on I realized that he may not make it, that it might not be the Lord’s will to heal him.
It was hard watching him go from being a very active man to one who now had to use an motorized wheel chair. He stayed active in the Church for as long as he could. The day came where he was no longer able to go. It was so hard to go to Church by myself, we had always done everything together. I missed him so much in Church, the ache in my heart was tough and so hard to bear.
I just kept praying and asking the Lord for the strength to get through this, I really didn’t believe I could live without him.
In his last days he began to suffer from not being able to breathe, he was put on oxygen and morphine to help his breathing. We are talking about a man who never took any medication. The morphine made him see things that weren’t there, it was so funny, he would say if you are not of Jesus then in His name get out of here. I am sure a lot of the things he saw were Heavenly sent.
I just kept praying Lord help his breathing and the good Lord was gracious in that my husband only had to suffer for about three weeks before the Lord took him home.
One Sunday I could tell he really wasn’t feeling well so I stayed home from Church to be with him. He was sleeping a lot and would not eat, he hadn’t eaten anything for three days, he just drank juice. I kissed him goodnight and told him how much I loved him. The next morning when I got up, he was gone. He went home to be with the Lord on August 12, 2008. The Lord took off his oxygen mask and laid it down beside his head, you won’t be needing this anymore you can now breath well and your pain and suffering are over, enter into the Joys of the Lord.
I cried for awhile then had to call my daughter to let her know. She came up to be with me, while we called Hospice to let them know he had passed.
The nurse immediately came over. She took charge of everything for me, from calling the funeral home to just being there for me. When they took him out the door, I just watched in fear, what would my life be without him, how can I cope?
The hardest thing I had to do was to go pick out the casket. I prayed hard to the Lord to give me strength, He was my peace, He got me through somehow.
Then it was time to receive friends and have the funeral, I was so blessed for all the good friends who came to support me and say their goodbyes to a man they loved too. His Sunday School class were honorary escorts, they were grieving because they loved him and his teaching, he had taught them for about ten years.
The gravesite was another hard part after trying to get through the funeral messages I now had to face this. My husband had been in the Military so we had a military gravesite. When they began to play taps, I broke down.
My husband was a railroad engineer. As soon as they were through playing taps, being near a railroad track a train went through and blew the whistle for a crossing, however, I knew it was my husband saying everything is okay now, I am free.
It has now been four months since my husband passed and all I can say is the Lord is with me through this grieving process. I stay in His word daily and He gives me strength to go on. I know that without Him I could not make it.
I have found it easier to stay busy and pray a lot, read a lot, and praise God a lot. Our God is an awesome God who said He would not put more on us than we could bear and He sure has taken care of this burden for me. I still have days where I cry and get really down, but then I remember I am going home to be with the Lord one day and not only will I see the face of my sweet Jesus but my husband will be there welcoming me home.
If you are not a Christian I urge you to receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior, so that you too may experience His peace that passes understanding.
May God bless all of you.
-Sharon Bradley